General Chat

Ooh Ann quite a memory of the not so good kind. today of course he could have been punished by law. My father was always kind to me except once when I did something wrong and he slapped me. Not hard but my Mother told him he was never to hit me with his big hands and he never sis. She did though.

Photos really trigger memories for me. I have one of me on my 7th birthday that is both happy and sad. The photo is of me standing with my brand new two wheel bicycle present which I was delighted to receive and would soon be able to ride to school instead of the 4 mile daily walk. Luckily photos in the 50s wheren't very clear and only I know that there were tears on my cheeks. Early that morning while playing in the garden, my father was digging after starting to cut branches from a Holly tree we had that grew next to a hedge between us and a neighbour. He had told me not to tell the neighbour (an elderly widow) that he was cutting it down, although it was obvious, Well, while he was digging and the other side of our garden she called me over and asked me if he was cutting the tree down. I struggled to answer, remembering my father's words, but also that I shouldn't tell lies! So I said 'I think so', thinking in a child's way that I hadn't disobeyed and said yes and I hadn't told a definite lie by only saying I thought so. A few minutes later my father put me across his knee and hit me with such force, threatening to use his belt on me that I was screaming at the top of my voice which brought my mother running outside shouting him to stop which he did and telling him off. I was distraught and my mother couldn't console me, so she tried to cheer me up by taking a photo of me with my new bicycle. I think that was the day I rightly learned to really fear my father, lost all respect for him and decided I couldn't believe in any god that could undeservedly (in my mind) punish me by giving me such an ill tempered father. So quite a memory!

Gwyn I am sure that it is the new year that makes us reflect so much. But also yes, January!! I have never liked January and February but January has definitely been worse for my morale since T died. 29th is approaching it does ease a bit every year but is still not a good time. Still, in a way, I would not want it to pass unnoticed. I think he deserves some of my time on that day. <3

Just seen this on line:

You will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory <3

Ann, I do understand when you say that memories can make you sad, even though you are remembering happy times.
Like me, you can look back on some wonderful shared times during a happy marriage, but the sadness comes with realising that THAT piece of music or THAT particular place are yours alone now to remember and although family may know that the music or place is special to you, they cannot share the memory that made it so.
Perhaps it's the turning of the calendar onto a new year that makes us reflect more on what has gone before and maybe wonder what lies ahead in the coming year, especially as January itself has such sad memories for us.

Good luck with that Florence. I remember getting a photo of the orphanage my Mum grew up in and showing it to her, she pushed it away from me with discust that I knew I had the right one.

I went through all my photos awhile ago and made up several scrap books dividing them into holidays xmas etc and writing the years underneath.

i also have many happy memories of when i was younger but also some unhappy ones as we all do.

I have shown the books to my children as it keep the memories alive and grandparents and aunties/uncles etc who have sadly passed away when they were young.

I know with smart phones we dont print out the photos as we use to but i still have done for special occasions as its nice to look back on.

Newspaper clippings of my children's first day at school as was in our local paper.

My son is 30 this year and I have actually been looking for a young photo of him to put in the local paper again!! im sure he will be horrified but....has to be done lol

A few of my thoughts on memories. what are yours?

I have 69 years of shared memories to draw on, maybe 82 of my own if I go right back to my childhood. But 69 are mostly good, some are great and bear looking at again and again. I have been lucky, have visited some great places, had a lot of fun.

Of course there are some not so good memories, some sad, some uncomfortable maybe. But mainly they are good, and all are part of the tapestry of my life.

I have photos and diaries, especially holiday diaries to refresh those memories. And I appreciate that, Yes my memories make me happy and realise how lucky I have been. But somehow, sometimes it is difficult to enjoy memories if you can’t talk about them.

When I made albums from photos and wrote holiday diaries, I always envisaged that, in our later lives, My other half and I would be looking at them together, sharing and reliving the memories and that sometimes makes the memories hard to think about. Now he is not here to share them.